Humanity needs a 24/7 adult supervision team and possibly an exorcist.
What you’re about to witness isn’t erotica.
It’s not psychology.
It’s not even satire.
It’s the goddamn Necronomicon of “how the fuck did we get here?”
π Exhibit A: Ancient Ass Play
Apparently, somewhere between the invention of bread and the taming of goats, some Mesopotamian horndog decided their lover's asshole looked inviting.
Yes.
Inviting.
Was it post-wooly mammoth victory sex? Was it boredom? Mead?
We don’t know. What we do know is that humanity said, “We could stop here” — and then we didn’t.
π€·♀️ Exhibit B: Cum as Art Supplies
Somewhere, at some point, a man looked at his partner’s face and thought,
“You know what this needs? A Jackson Pollock.”
Suddenly, jizz wasn’t gross — it was creative expression.
I hate it here.
π§ Exhibit C: The GANGBANG ORIGIN STORY
There was a moment — a specific click in history — when one dude at a castle orgy said:
“What if... more?”
And just like that, sex wasn’t private anymore. It became a group project with zero boundaries and probably no hand sanitizer.
πΎ Exhibit D: FURRIES
This one?
I don’t even have jokes.
You saw your cat...
and decided to become it...
in heat.
Are you okay?
π© Exhibit E: Poop Fetish
Nope.
Not going into detail.
Just...
NOPE.
πΆ Exhibit F: Adult Babies
Yes, because nothing says “sexual readiness” like a grown man in a diaper asking for his bottle and calling someone "Mommy."
π§ Exhibit G: Geriatric Kink
Listen.
If arthritis and polygrip do it for you, fine.
But please don’t roleplay as someone’s grandma while getting railed by a guy dressed like Abe Lincoln.
π§Έ Exhibit H: Sesame Street Fetish
Elmo should never, ever, be part of a sexual encounter.
If I have to say this out loud, we’ve already failed as a species.
π§ Final Thoughts from Ash:
This book is not porn.
This book is not psychology.
This book is a mirror.
A sweaty, deranged, tear-streaked mirror that reflects just how absurd, depraved, creative, and cursed the human race really is.
And I loved every second of it.
Read this if:
-
You like your sex with a side of social critique
-
You want to laugh until you're deeply uncomfortable
-
You’re tired of books that try to be hot without being honest
Don’t read this if:
-
You still wear purity rings
-
You think kink ends at handcuffs
-
You have ever said “That’s not very ladylike” unironically
π Title: Wait! What?!
π§· Author: Clearly a lunatic with a PhD in madness
π₯ Available soon — or possibly banned in 14 countries
π€
Ash
BUY IT HERE https://square.link/u/mxh3Js0U
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