Ash’s Pic of the Day
🛸 “The Truth Is… Absolutely Deranged” 🛸
Ah yes, today’s contribution to the Gallery of Unhinged America comes straight from the Department of “What in the Actual Hell?”
This poor man’s mugshot looks like he wandered off a History Channel special, had a rough night at the cosplay convention, and then made a series of felony-level life choices. According to this extremely real and definitely fact-checked headline, he admitted to kidnapping 79 people to anally probe them while disguised as an alien.
Because why have hobbies when you can have trauma-inducing abductions and a rubber mask?
Swipe left on this E.T., girls. He’s not phoning home—he’s phoning parole.
🛸✨ Rating: 5 out of 5 War of the Worlds sound effects.
📝 Comment below if you’ve ever been probed by someone who claimed to be from Uranus. We won’t judge (much).
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