Wes Bon Jaques “Mustache” Custom – Limited Signature Series
A disrespected collaboration between Ash & Ink and whatever the hell Jackson let slip through the quality check.
🔧 Base Specs (ripped straight from an actual Jackson Dinky and then dishonored):
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Body: Alder (now soggy with piss)
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Neck: Maple bolt-on, speed profile for frantic soloing (or running from responsibility)
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Fretboard: 24 jumbo frets on rosewood, stained with regret
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Bridge: Floyd Rose Licensed Double-Locking Tremolo (good luck tuning it after the taco sauce dries)
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Pickups:
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Bridge: High-output humbucker (only sound it makes is “I’m sorry, Mom.”)
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Neck: Non-functioning humbucker (use as a cigarette caddy instead)
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💀 “Special Features” That No One Asked For:
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🧴 1 full pint of Wes’s dehydrated piss lovingly soaked into the wood grain for “tone only shame can deliver.”
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🌮 Volume knob permanently corrupted by an “incident” involving taco sauce and poor life decisions. Buzz included. Forever.
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🔘 5-way tone switch that does absolutely nothing but gives you something to flick when you feel alone (which you will be).
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🚬 Neck pickup cavity doubles as a hidey-hole for:
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Cigarettes
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Your dreams
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Whatever’s left of your pick collection
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🧻 Lucy’s Pizza napkin stuffed in the back panel. Greasy. Used. Probably cursed.
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🫦 Custom scent infusion, choose ONE:
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“Old Cigarette, Coffee, and Beating Off” (a true motel-core classic)
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“You Are Never Getting Laid” (smells like sadness and hair gel)
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🔥 Hand-numbered with a real cigarette burn for that “my mom grounded me for this” touch.
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👙 Each case includes a Victoria’s Secret bra to suggest sexual success you never had, never will, and wouldn’t know what to do with anyway.
💸 Price: $666.69 USD
(Or trade for 3 expired vape pens and a VHS of Road House)
Includes:
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Gig bag pre-stained with hot sauce
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Signed photo of Wes looking disappointed in you
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Certificate of Authentic Disgrace
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